I am going to post this before I get second thoughts...there is no backing out now!
When I was at school, I was always one of the girls who
would skive PE. I would sit at the bottom of the field in the glaring
sun while everyone else sweated it out. I couldn’t face the frilly sports
skirts, the ugly PE knickers and, let’s face it, the downright hard work.
In fact, I remember watching my friend rub grass into her
eyes during the summer so that she could avoid PE. Despite her having to skip
school for a week, I was envious. I wanted to miss PE that badly.
I stayed that way for most of my life. Or at least, I stayed
that way until I faced the hurdle of Depression.
Those who know me (and there are a few of you!) will testify
that I have always suffered from the illness. It would often plunge me into
black holes of despair where I could see no way out, no glimmer of light, no
hope. Life seemed bleak.
But then, I discovered exercise. I found that it helped me
face Depression. It made me realise that I could fight it, that my body was
STRONG. I didn’t need anyone else – I could do it on my own.
Then, two weeks before Christmas, I faced one of the hardest
challenges I have ever faced. I had a miscarriage.
All I want is to be a mum. Really, it is all I have ever
wanted – I just never came to realise it myself. Caring for others is what I do
best.
So when it happened, it knocked me hard. In fact, it knocked
me completely off my feet. Again, I found myself in a dark space
with no way out. I couldn’t understand why it had happened to me. I blamed
myself and I punished myself by refusing to eat.
Then, when everything around me was crumbling, something
inside me pinged. Out of nowhere, I found myself desperate to run. And run I
did. I ran and ran and ran. I ran through the pain, I ran through the injustice
of it all. I ran until I cried.
Quite simply, I discovered running.
While I am not a ‘runner’, I now love to run. Being alone
clears my head, while pounding the streets makes me feel strong and powerful.
I have even realised how easy it is. Anyone can do it – you included!
You don’t have to be fit and all you need is a good pair of trainers. You can
run anywhere, for as long as you like. Free as a bird.
As I push myself harder, my breath like frost in the wind, I
know what I am capable of. And that is anything.
